The BV Health Plan

In an effort to mitigate rising health costs, I've adopted some new perspectives, the details of which are best described with some simple Q & A:

Q: I’VE HEARD THAT CARDIOVASCULAR EXERCISE CAN PROLONG LIFE - IS THIS TRUE?
A: As a heart patient, I've done my homework and learned your heart is only good for so many beats. So I say don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: SHOULD I CUT DOWN ON MEAT AND EAT MORE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES?
A: This is best answered by looking at logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables (and pre-formed milk ala DAIRY) to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: SHOULD I REDUCE MY ALCOHOL INTAKE?
A: No, not at all. Beer is made from grain (vegetables). Vodka is made from grain or potatoes (vegetables). Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. So, bottoms up!

Q: HOW CAN I CALCULATE MY BODY/FAT RATIO?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: WHAT ARE SOME OF THE ADVANTAGES OF PARTICIPATING IN A REGULAR EXERCISE PROGRAM?
A: Oh, that's easy...ummmm...Well, there's always.....errrrrr. Hmph, can’t think of a single one, sorry. Anyway, my philosophy is: No Pain… good!

Q: AREN’T FRIED FOODS BAD FOR YOU?
A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! …. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting MORE vegetables be bad for you?

Q: WILL SIT-UPS HELP PREVENT ME FROM GETTING A LITTLE SOFT AROUND THE MIDDLE?
A: Definitely not! Think about it, when you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: IS CHOCOLATE BAD FOR ME?
A: ARE YOU CRAZY? Cocoa Beans are another VEGETABLE!! Besides, it's the best feel-good food around!

Q: IS SWIMMING GOOD FOR YOUR FIGURE?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain manatees to me. Or whales.

Q: IS GETTING IN-SHAPE IMPORTANT FOR MY LIFESTYLE?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape! As is "Pear" and "Apple".

They come in 3's

Another well known voice talent passes.
Radio&Records and other web sites report that TJ Roberts died last night of unknown causes.
TJ's death is the 3rd voice over talent death in 2 weeks.
Here is his website if you want to take a listen:
http://www.tjroberts.com/

I wrote about the heart attack death of Radio Imaging giant Brian James in a prior blog entry.
Female voice talent Connie Zimet also died in the last 2 weeks, succumbing to ALS.
Here is very nice write up on her:
http://www.voiceovertimes.com/2009/03/13/connie-zimet-voiceover-artist-loses-battle-with-als/

Shut-tle the Hell up!

Aaaaarrrrggghhh......

Nothing spoils a live television news event more than blabbermouth anchors.

Let me remind you" "It's all about the pictures people, not about you!!!!!"

Tuned into CNN to watch the Shuttle launch like millions of other people and let me tell you, "Dandy" Don Lemon (left) kept stepping all over John Zarella (who's forgotten more about Shuttle launches than Dapper Don knows!), interupting him at almost every turn as he tried to interview an astronaut about her trip on the Shuttle.

Finally, with less than 30-seconds before launch, John finally says "Don, it's happening" to get the goof to shut up!

So everyone pipes down, the big beautiful bird soars to the skies, then Don starts in again.

Dude, shut your pie hole and let the reporter on the scene tell us what we need to know!

When there's no reporter on scene , THEN you get to tell us all what we're seeing and put it all in perspective!

When there's a reporter, then you channel your inner traffic cop or air traffic controller and speak ONLY when you need to move the story along, and then keep it brief!

Now, Don isnt' entirely at fault here, because I'm sure there was some crazed producer (I know, I used to be one!..AND at CNN to boot!) in his ear guiding him down the wrong path.

It had to be something along the lines of" "OMG, John hasn't talked about what's going through their minds during the countdown, ask him about that, ask him about that!"

Um, hello young producer? How about LISTENING to the coverage you're providing and you would have known JZ was waiting for the GUEST to wrap up her thoughts on that very question!

Don proceeds to still go down that line of questioning, to which JZ responds, "Yes Don, as so-and-so was saying...."

Making me even more batty over this sloppy coverage was that unlike most Live News Events, there is a TIMELINE of how a Shuttle Launch all goes down!

That means if the producer or EP did a short conference call with all the players prior to going to air, everyone could have sorted out what they would talk about and when!....filling the gaps between Mission Control babble, the launch and main engine cutoff.

Where's the "Main Anchor Cutoff" when you need it!

E-learning E-xcitement!

Just returned from the E-Learning Guild "Annual Gathering" in Orlando and let me tell you... I have seen the future and it is E-Learning. Especially for the "video-game & tech generation" of students about to come out of the high schools and colleges.

Done right, with more than just glorified Power Point slides and boring narration, E-Learning is a powerful tool. Making it better, it does away with all the heavy textbooks and boring professors. Being a digital format, it can and will also be able to travel with students or professionals.

Imagine an oil-rig worker out in the Gulf or the Atlantic who is confronted with a drilling scenario that was covered in training months ago, but he has forgotten because he hasn't faced it yet. He has just minutes perhaps to push the proper proper buttons in the proper sequence...and doesn't have time to flip through no stinking manual as the winds howl and rains pound! He can pull out his Ipod, or Iphone, or go to laptop controlling the machines, call up the lesson, listen to good ol' me drill it down for him...and save the day!

Anyway, met lots of nice, interesting people who of course thought I was also nice and interesting. Time will tell (sorry for the trite cliche) if the trip pays off with work!

Another VO silenced

Radio industry website AllAccess (http://www.allaccess.com/) and Voiceover Universe (http://www.voiceoveruniverse.com/) are reporting the death of one of Radio Imagings' biggest talents....Brian James.

AA says James was only 48-years old and apparently died of a heart attack. Yikes!

He is survived by his wife and 2 children.

James is credited with the "Power Pig" and other high-profile branding campaigns used in markets across the country and I read that he was first heard on the air here in Tampa Bay (my stomping grounds)

I haven't figured out how to upload audio to the blog, so here is a link to his Imaging Demo on the Atlas Talent Agency website:

http://www.videovoicebank.net/app/audio.jsp?url=http://video.voicebank.net/vb2pub/1601/cabinet/publicaudio/Radio%20Imaging/jamer%2C%20brian.mp3&title=Brian%20James-%20Radio%20Imaging

Great stuff.

He will be missed.